I have included the Emotional Guidance Scale that I adapted into a shorter and simpler version of Jerry and Esther Hicks scale. In my last post I explained how you can use this as a sort of street map of human emotions. It helps to understand the processes we have to go through in order to feel good.
We know that if we were just feeling completely depress (at the bottom of the scale) and we find ourselves feeling very angry, we are moving in the right direction.
Or observing someone close to you go from being kind of quiet and alone (but you haven’t thought of them as depressed) to angry at everything and everyone, you now know to let them get through their anger. Don’t talk them back down into depression. Offer them a distraction, or something to be hopeful for, or just stay out of their way.
They might move through disappointment, or overwhelment, but you’ll know they’re just doing what’s natural in order to feel a little bit better, and a little bit better.
We make emotions black and white, good or bad, and that’s fairly true, this is emotional sub categories, and better doesn’t always mean good. Sometimes it’s just better than before. Moving in the right direction makes all the difference in the world, and that is good!
Emotional Guidance Scale
- Joy, Love, Appreciation
- Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
- Optimism, Hopefulness
- Contentment, Boredom
- Frustration, Overwhelment
- Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
- Blame, Anger, Revenge
- Hatred, Jealousy
- Insecurity, Guilt
- Fear, Grief, Depression
There is more to this, stick with me, I’ll get to the good stuff.
First, I’m going to share some things I have found that help me move up the scale:
- A distraction; I think this is best when somethings really stuck in my mind and I can’t move away from it. (We’ll get to why that happens later on) I use two different types of distractions, my exact distractions may or may not work for you, but you will find what does.
Distraction # 1; This consumes all my focus so that I have to concentrate on that one thing in the moment.
Reading a book is my first choice, that’s not always possible, sometimes I learn to play a song or musical instrument. If I’m lucky an interesting documentary can be found. These things consume all of my focus, and I enjoy them.
Distraction #2; The mindless distractions; something so simple you’d typically find it mundane, like washing and drying all the dishes or cleaning all the grout lines between your bathroom tiles. I sort of take my “aggression” out that way.
Coloring helps me, I don’t care about the end result or if I finish, I’ll just color until I’m sick of it, when I stop and look up I’m in a whole new mindset.
You could take a nap, or meditate. Lose yourself in music if you’re a musical person, I’ve done that one just by default since I was a kid.
Any project that’s already started I can perfect.
Better yet, an animal person can get lost in cuteness. I brush my pig, he climbs into my lap and sleeps, at that point all is well in my world. I’ll pet a cat until its purring; hold my iguana until he’s so asleep that he’s a limp noodle.
- Make a list of positive aspects;
This way you can choose to stay stuck on that subject or move away from it. Either way you’re good. I have a whole journal dedicated to positive aspects, and I prefer to start with those things that are on my mind. I care deeply and desperately want to change my negative feelings into positive ones.
I’ll put the subject at the top and underline it, and then I number 1-10. Once I’ve listed 6 or 7 positive aspects I almost can’t stop. It’s just getting started that’s a little bit of a challenge, and then you find yourself listing things like #34- beautiful and captivating eyes.
Do this instead of pros and cons list, do this for the person you love the most, and the person you hate the most, for the car you have, for the car you want. No matter what, only list the positive aspects, any subject is game. Mine is usually people, but that’s me, you may be different.
- Focus wheel.
I focus on the thing and how I want to feel about it.
In the center of a piece of paper write a statement that is a complete truth; but make it a positive statement.
Example; “we connect in a gaze across a crowded room to find each other” not “I want him so bad but he never even notices me, except that one time at the water fountain…”
I mark lines around my circle like it’s a clock. You can do more or less. In each “hour” of my clock I write a statement that supports a good feeling similar to the one in the middle.
But that’s enough for tonight. I do hope this reaches people. Feel free to contact me.