Chrismas house

Well, I’ve been working on my house all day and now I’m ready to crash.

I hope I wake up tomorrow and feel thankful I put in the effort.

I officially decorated the outside of my house more than ever before! (I’ve never decorated the outside of my house)

And I out Christmassed everyone on the street. (No body has anything up)

In officially the least and most festive person I know!

I even have my menorah out for  Hanukkah although I’m not sure what to do with it since I’m not Jewish, I know you recite things in Hebrew, which is way cooler than Cristmass songs if you ask me.

Im not into holidays, but decorating with a theme is fun.



a journey beyond

I’m coming to realize how small the margin of time is for family to remain working together as one family unit.

When it’s past, there’s just no going back, only moving forward.

In the midst of things, beleive me, parents loose sight of a lot of things, because everyday might as well be a million years at times.

And there’s nobody to blame, time likes being devious to us, the past is the past.

The now is even in the past, your not reading these words as much as you’ve already read them, it’s in the past, this is meant to slip away.

Allow it.

The REAL you is in what we’d call the future, it feels like it’s just happening now.

Thats intuition, we know the general layout of the future, and we might tweak it from time to time.

The real/fuller versions of us might feel more complete (to us right now) but they aren’t really.

We’re catching up, they’re catching up, and multiple realities take place, and our heads start spinning with confusion and possibilities b/c we just jumped way to far into the future.

and it’s all beyond comprehension (at least for me)

so… just get a goog nights sleep and rethink it later on



My imagination

The past (almost) two weeks have been WAY of track, according to my vague life plans.

Adams been sick non stop, but to that point where he litterally needs someone the whole time.

So the house goes to crap despite my best efforts and intentions to save it.

Right now I’m taking what I call “a sitting break”

I only need the house to be an ordinary amount of clean before tomorrow, I’d say I’m half way there.

Adams family comes for thanksging every year. I can do little extra things tomorrow.

More importantly; I have found a fragment of history to stir my imagination, and I want to write about it.

Kelly Clarkson was on Live this morning, she said that creativity and imagination go hand in hand for her, in her imagination she’s the a ten year old little girl, and she goes their because reality sucks.

Me too, though I don’t think reality ALWAYS sucks, but as Anne would say “very little cannot be improved upon by imagination.”

Sitting break is over, back to work! Can’t wait to reach that finish line!




Dreams and their meanings

Two different people have asked me similar things recently. I gave them both the same answer.

My first thoughts were “really!?!?? your asking Me out of all people!?!?!??”

These two people asking me are two people who usually have no interest what’s so ever in what I think about this sort of thing; in fact I don’t even speak about it to these two because they have both (in a loving way) tried to turn it into a joke.

I assumed it was just to much for them.

Getting to my point; two sceptical people I know have been having dreams that bother them to the point that they’ve felt the need to talk to me because I understand these things.

Well, I am glad they wanted to bring this up with me. I’m still a little uneasy from their past reactions; but here it is….

Person #1

he said something like “I’m having a bad day because I had this dream that I had killed my sister, then I woke up and she called me, but I still feel so bad for killing her in my dream.”

Person #2

“Every night I have had the craziest dreams, I can’t even sleep.

It feels like I’m dreaming before I’m actually asleep.”

So, here’s my response(s)

Dreams are mostly from your subconscious mind, which has less of a language, so subconscious thoughts are more images and feeling than something that’s put into words.

Time in dreams is wacky ( I think I wrote about that topic a while back) the dream actually happens when you are close to waking up, so they might feel a lot longer than they are.

As far as the meaning, it’s more specific to your feelings in the dream. But as far as the sub conscious thoughts and their importance:

If it’s very important it will show up in your conscience life. (In these two cases it has apparently)

But dreams don’t need literal interpretations, they can provide information, given to you by your subconscious mind, so there is information contained with in those dreams, but the language might be formed into images and feelings.

So, my thoughts that I didn’t share, the first one seems to be evoked from his waking life, I think, and the sister calling at such an important time; a case of two people thinking about each other at the same moment.

Their could be more, but I can’t say really, I don’t know enough.

But, as far as a deeper meaning, I’m sure there is one, and I think it has to deal with guilt of hurting loved ones.

The second person; I think might be having more of a supernatural experience, with the dreams coming on before he’s been asleep a while. He’s only sleeping about an hour at a time.

This I can confirm by being close enough to be there when he falls asleep and wakes up. (It’s Adam)

He does seem to be reacting to something with in 15-20 min. Of being asleep, and for a good 5-10 min. After waking up.

Plus, I know what I’ve experienced here, back when I was homeschooling Brodi I meditated several times a day and started having similar experiences while meditating and sleeping.

To stop it I even started to meditate in different parts of the house, and I changed my sleep schedule to napping 20 min. Every four hours.

That worked for me, I doubt Adams been making a conscious effort to meditate but maybe he has managed it somehow.

So, I don’t know…


Reality vs. Realities

If I were to take both into consideration, this reality playing out before my eyes in an unstoppable, and unmanageable way vs. some other reality of my liking, you know who’d win.

The things that set this very reality into place have already happened, in that way, we are all sort of living in the past.

Which is normal from time to time, but anything but normal for all the time.

It can over power us one by one.

Whats in the here and now is meant to guide us into the future, into the reality that we WILL create, not face.

Facing reality is looking into the past. It is looking at what has already been done, and by continuing our focus on the past, unfortionatly we are doomed to repeat it.

We don’t have to though, you don’t have to. What we’re focused on is invited into our lives.

We’re not meant to live that way, life by default of our unintentional focus upon what is.

Living, looking, and repeating the past is not what life is all about. Not that it’s wrong to look back sometimes, because we might need to in order to know where we’re at.

Theirs a future reality that we are creating every moment, and when that sets in, you begin to realize the power and importance of right now.


A second look

Me and Adam made an agreement.  We thought it was for each other, but now I’m wondering if it was more for me.

He watched “Walt before Mickey” without me and I watched “Kingdom of Us” without him.

Oh well…

I’ve written about the ‘kingdom of us’ but ‘Walt before mickey’ has gotten me inspired also, especially since things haven’t changed for artist since then.

Yes, they have different medians to work with, etc. but over all; the struggles and streangths are pretty much the same.

If it weren’t for Walts challenges we wouldn’t have Mickey Mouse today.

Rewatching ‘Kingdom of Us’ (alone while everyone else in the house sleeps) I’m catching so much more this time.

The dads songs, the family photos, the home movies, he insisted on them happening because he knew he might leave his family, but he didn’t want to leave them without telling them how he felt.

He left them answers to questions they hadn’t asked yet.

Maybe it’s hard because I’m on both ends. My mom had problems when I was a kid, I have my own problems as a parent.

It’s yet anonther strange place I find myself in this world.

But Walt, he’s there cheering me on also, so I’m not that big of a failure.


Let’s Talk Music; Amen by Jewel

I’ve always loved this song, it popped into my mind tonight, I don’t what the high note is that she reaches about halfway in, maybe c natural, and the word “such an injustice as children we’re told from God we fell”.

I don’t think she’s being sac religious there, just saying it’s a shame that we’re told we’re born into sin, imperfect, and asking for forgiveness.

We don’t have to do that for God, of course I don’t have to tell anyone that, my few readers don’t feel like that. Just a lovely song.

The mood board

Have you heard of a mood board?

Im sure it’s nothing new, basically a  collage of images to envoke a certain mood.

There’s probably  therapeutic reasons to make one, I just think the idea sounds fun.

I was thinking about different moods to create:

– the mood of my home

– a board with a person in mind to set the mood

– maybe the seasons, right now it’d be that odd time that’s not fall or winter, it’d make an interesting board though…

– I even thought about one for the cartoon I’m working on, but that just reminds me of how I’m about 3 days behind my schedule; so maybe something to work on in the future😬

For now, I’m just going to throw some images out there that portray… whatever mood this is that I’m in.