Cabin stories

 

I intended to write a short story this morning, but after a few paragraphs I ran out of brain power to complete it.

So, I figured I go easy on myself and write about my day dreamy ideas of owning a cabin.

I know the trend right now is to have adorable little sheds in your backyard that might as well be a tiny house.

And that’s fine, I already have a cute shed although the inside isn’t all done up nice like the ones on Pinterest, that’s because mine really is for storage. But that’s a different topic.

As for my cabin dreams, I’ve always loved authentic (or very close to authentic) cabins build by actual settlers and tucked into the mountains.

Not at the cabins built like mansions by cunstruction companies with all the bells and whistles of a high end custom home.

I like to imagine the families who might have lived in my type of cabin, the hard working people who built it by hand. I like to imagine their are fur trappers and bootleggers crawling about these mountains.

I image steppin’ out bare foot and firing warning shots from my rifle which hangs above the door.

I imagine people panning for gold in streams and ‘cricks’ to no avail. That the kind of cabin I want.

But Id take a few other options, like if I owned some wooded land, I’d cut down my own trees, carry my own foundation stones, make my own chinking and wood shingles.

Id collect rain water in old wooden  barrels, cook my food over the same fire that heats my cabin, have my shot gun locked up safe in  a cabinet ‘cuz kids these days ain’t gotta uh lickin of common sense’

I’d be okay with the out house situation, and the ‘bath tub’ being a metal bucket behind a makeshift curtain.

(I’d okay with this b/c it’d only be my vacation home)

I’d buy Old Smokey moonshine from the store, but in the cabin I’d tell you I traded with those bootleggers down yonder and claim it’ll cure your ailments.

I’d become that funny old man who sits on his front porch smoking a corn cob pipe, who’s unbeatable at checkers and starts every conversation with “I like to think of myself as a storyteller”

IMG_1380 I’d become that kids who wants to play you a song on his banjo, that spinster fussing over her tangled yarn, that superstitious old granny lady hunched over a straw broom telling wild tales about the ‘haints’ and the ‘devils weed’ and how she rid herself of an ugly wort by hammering a penny into ‘that there tree’, she’ll tell you the secret location of her distillery and reveal wads of cash (tax free income) she’s stashed away for a rainy day.

She’ll reveal the secrets of her ‘clan’ but swear you to secrecy, and curse that ol s.o.b. over there smokin’ his corn cob pipe, and that ‘good fer nothin’ boy makin’ all that racket’ and how he ‘ought ta be school’

THATS the kind of cabin I want.

Advertisements

Sleepless nights

I know I’m tired and rambly, but I need to stay awake so I’m typing away….

I can’t wait to see Delta Rae again, I know I’m sounding like an obsessed fan, but they have brought so much light into my life, their energy, passion, music, story, everything.

I had flopped around in my bedroom for 3 days in a row, not being able to stop it, then Adam talks to me and wants me to cheer up, so I promise to find something better to focus on… “I can do that, I just have to focus on something else” I told him, or myself.

Turned on the T.V. And there they were, smiling faces, dancing and making music, and I’m pretty sure I literally fell in love.

it

  • As I am

in the back yard at 2am

staring into the ethers

remaining a part

of the crickets and the cicadas

A spimple life

simplicity and happiness are what I yearn for

this world corrupts and hurts us

to no avail

i can make it on my own, yes, and very well, but I do not wish to be alone.

Ive lived so much, and that’s allright.

I’ve focused things into being, and I’m amazed.

and affraid of the next logical step

procrastination has its own sort of achievement.

And it waits for the perfect moment to arise.

Life and death are both confusing and black and white, depending on where you stand.

there is no  separation  between life and death from my point of view.

there is only being

 

J.Aaron
Wild Wolf Creek
Following
4
Decoding emotions part two
5d ago
deppressionemotionshappynessLifemental health
I have included the Emotional Guidance Scale that I adapted into a shorter and simpler version of Jerry and Esther Hicks scale. In my last post I explained how you can use this as a sort of street map of human emotions. It helps to understand the processes we have to go through in order to feel good.

We know that if we were just feeling completely depress (at the bottom of the scale) and we find ourselves feeling very angry, we are moving in the right direction.

Or observing someone close to you go from being kind of quiet and alone (but you haven’t thought of them as depressed) to angry at everything and everyone, you now know to let them get through their anger. Don’t talk them back down into depression. Offer them a distraction, or something to be hopeful for, or just stay out of their way.

They might move through disappointment, or overwhelment, but you’ll know they’re just doing what’s natural in order to feel a little bit better, and a little bit better.

We make emotions black and white, good or bad, and that’s fairly true, this is emotional sub categories, and better doesn’t always mean good. Sometimes it’s just better than before. Moving in the right direction makes all the difference in the world, and that is good!

Emotional Guidance Scale

Joy, Love, Appreciation
Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
Optimism, Hopefulness
Contentment, Boredom
Frustration, Overwhelment
Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
Blame, Anger, Revenge
Hatred, Jealousy
Insecurity, Guilt
Fear, Grief, Depression

There is more to this, stick with me, I’ll get to the good stuff.

 

Today, tomorrow, what’s the difference?

I always forget how the Vatican plays in world affairs. (Not always in a good way)

No matter how interesting the subject, and how curious I am about it, I can not focus there very long without having to stop and fix the damage it will have done to me.

I can’t.

As far as religious faith is concerned, I haven’t been able to think of it lately, but I’m sure who ever God is: he’s absolutly not standing against me.

That’s something I don’t have enough time to comprehend let alone explain.

It seems backwards to me that I’m more able/ interested/ and closer to the non physical world.

It scares me just a little because I am interested in what goes on in the here and now, and I care deeply about things.

Dalton is my strongest life force because I have never found someone who could take my place in his life.

It’s an honor, and a shame. A blessing and a curse. But it gives me something to be here for I guess.

I don’t know really… I’m feeling insecure and afraid lately and I hate it.

 

 

My negativity still gets answers

I hate this way I’ve been feeling lately. Even though I’m off (I’ve been frustrated, angry, depressed, all the negative feelings, and was physically sick two days)

I shouldn’t be able to see the signs when I’m like that but I have anyways, maybe it’s just that I’m feeling like this while understanding what’s going on at the same time?

So I’m listening to music, one very exciting thing is I’ll be seeing Delta Rae again next month, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be meeting them.

I have a rather strange story. You know how when your growing up all the older people think if they tell you about some horrible facts of life that they are somehow preparing you, and that you’d be better knowing ahead of time?

I found myself saying something so randomly and uncontrollably, not at all the topic of any conversation.

Me and the kids were chatting in the living room, it was unusually calm and a silence fell over the room.

Then I tell Brodi “When I die, I want you to just leave everything as it is, board up my house for 25 or 30 years, then open it up to urban explorers. Don’t take away anything, that’s how I want it to be.”

His only response was ” What are urban explorers?”

I didn’t answer b/c I honestly didn’t think to say all of those words to him, though maybe there is some grad plan or reason I did.

I then hit the play button on a YouTube video that seemed interesting, turned out to be about death, a woman loosing her husband and it made me cry… like a lot. And I’ve probably rewatched it 5 more times.

Something just really hit me, she was so mad for days that her husband died. Then when she stopped being mad for a moment she heard him talk to her.

(I don’t think she said what he was saying, she just stopped talking for a moment, then shook off what ever it was that was probably hurting her at that moment, with the memory.)

Then she said the thing that really struck me, “There is no seperation, only the feeling of separation, and that feeling is bogus, and unnecessary.”

Maybe it’s my depressed mood and the law of attraction that’s at work here, but I keep repeating that to myself. “No seperation, only feeling of separation, that feeling is bogus and unnecessary.”

I guess b/c of feeling so alone is at the root of all my negative thinking. But I’m being lead to things that somehow help me, as morbid as they may be.

 

I keep doing this;

I’ll close my eyes and try to think of what I might say or ask infinite intelligence, and no matter how long I wait my mind is blank.

There is nothing I need to say or ask when it comes to somebody that already knows and responds.

This week has been… well…

[Disclaimer; my vocabulary has probably sounded different lately, I’m trying to find the right words for things that I’ve never actually put into words, and honestly my words feel a little uncomfortable to me. ]

I have to say this week has been full of hard days, but to balance that out, or even out weight it, this week has been filled with those ‘ah-ha! Now I get it!’ moments.

Both equally have the same meaning, I am growing and expanding faster, and if I am I expect the greater part of everything is as well.

When I’d get a little off in the past I’d make it worse for a while, I thought unraveling what happened, why, and all of that stuff would help make it better, not worse.

Lately I get a little off, I acknowledge that it happened, and I know where Im at, so I can instinctively get myself back.

So many things have happened each day and I see that I’ve attracted it, or I’ve been to close to what someone near by attracted.

Im asking (the universe, and our source) for a break, a slower pace, and some free time to catch up on my peace and quite.

I need to recharge badly, if I were your phone I’d already given the the warning of 10% battery left.

The only crappy part in my opinion is that I can’t randomly shut off, but I’m not a phone, and my power source does not die.

sight and sound

 

I listen to one of my favorite authors speak on YouTube everyday.

That means I’ve listened to the same recordings to the point I can give the same speech at the same time, down to when to take a breath.

I realize this might sound sad, but I do it b/c each day I understand it in a new way, and it just makes me feel better and happier.

But I always want to see her talk also, and the recordings are just that- her voice.

Today two old videos popped up of her talking to a small room of people. These videos have to be old, the quality is horrible, but it provide exactly what I’ve been wanting, and somehow the same old words I hear everyday really do take on new meaning.

The universal law

 

Points of attraction

1. Joy, Love, Appreciation
2. Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
3. Optimism, Hopefulness
4. Contentment, Boredom
5. Frustration, Overwhelment
6. Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
7. Blame, Anger, Revenge
8. Hatred, Jealousy
9. Insecurity, Guilt
10. Fear, Grief, Depression

I know, it’s the same list as the emotional guidance scale, I just switched the name to Poins of Attraction.

They are one in the same.

Think about the law of attraction, it’s not just some interesting concept someone came up with, it really is a universal law.

The law of attraction goes like this; similar things are attracted to each other, even your thoughts and emotions.

Thoughts conjure up emotions inside us. A lot of what we give our attention to is right here before us.

We are in physical bodies that have adapted to surroundings, we’ve developed senses around these bodies and the world we live in.

The law of attraction (if it talked) could never say “No” to you, all it does is match you up with more of whatever you have going on inside you.

This can be really annoying or extreamly helpful depending of how you use it.

In conclusion, where you’re at on the emotional guidence scale is exactly what you are attracting.

But don’t freak out if your not where you’d like to be, just review my post about emotional guidance, and stick with me as I try to explain the rest.

Tacky handmade gifts be… Me!

I’m almost recovered enough to write another thinky post, but first I want to share this;

IMG_1345.JPG

I’m in one of those crafty/ creative phases, and I just have this urge to make people tacky handmade gifts.

In this picture, I made two smaller washcloths, and one bigger one. I make bigger ones because they are good at drying dishes and soaking up spills.

I used a small mason jar, and the lid from I don’t know what to make the little drink container with a coolzie. I plan on gluing some fabric to the top of the lid so the whole thing will be decorative.

I have 2, possibly 3 people in mind to send some of my slightly tacky homemade gifts to. Idk why, I just enjoy doing this.

I have a vision of everyone I know being stuck with little reminders of me all over their houses, and their blushing faces when company come over and ask things like “what’s with the pig shaped salt and pepper shaker holder thingy over there?”

I guess because my favorite gifts have been just as weird, like the spoon and fork man the holds my salt and pepper shakers. ☺️