sight and sound


I listen to one of my favorite authors speak on YouTube everyday.

That means I’ve listened to the same recordings to the point I can give the same speech at the same time, down to when to take a breath.

I realize this might sound sad, but I do it b/c each day I understand it in a new way, and it just makes me feel better and happier.

But I always want to see her talk also, and the recordings are just that- her voice.

Today two old videos popped up of her talking to a small room of people. These videos have to be old, the quality is horrible, but it provide exactly what I’ve been wanting, and somehow the same old words I hear everyday really do take on new meaning.

The universal law


Points of attraction

1. Joy, Love, Appreciation
2. Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
3. Optimism, Hopefulness
4. Contentment, Boredom
5. Frustration, Overwhelment
6. Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
7. Blame, Anger, Revenge
8. Hatred, Jealousy
9. Insecurity, Guilt
10. Fear, Grief, Depression

I know, it’s the same list as the emotional guidance scale, I just switched the name to Poins of Attraction.

They are one in the same.

Think about the law of attraction, it’s not just some interesting concept someone came up with, it really is a universal law.

The law of attraction goes like this; similar things are attracted to each other, even your thoughts and emotions.

Thoughts conjure up emotions inside us. A lot of what we give our attention to is right here before us.

We are in physical bodies that have adapted to surroundings, we’ve developed senses around these bodies and the world we live in.

The law of attraction (if it talked) could never say “No” to you, all it does is match you up with more of whatever you have going on inside you.

This can be really annoying or extreamly helpful depending of how you use it.

In conclusion, where you’re at on the emotional guidence scale is exactly what you are attracting.

But don’t freak out if your not where you’d like to be, just review my post about emotional guidance, and stick with me as I try to explain the rest.

Tacky handmade gifts be… Me!

I’m almost recovered enough to write another thinky post, but first I want to share this;


I’m in one of those crafty/ creative phases, and I just have this urge to make people tacky handmade gifts.

In this picture, I made two smaller washcloths, and one bigger one. I make bigger ones because they are good at drying dishes and soaking up spills.

I used a small mason jar, and the lid from I don’t know what to make the little drink container with a coolzie. I plan on gluing some fabric to the top of the lid so the whole thing will be decorative.

I have 2, possibly 3 people in mind to send some of my slightly tacky homemade gifts to. Idk why, I just enjoy doing this.

I have a vision of everyone I know being stuck with little reminders of me all over their houses, and their blushing faces when company come over and ask things like “what’s with the pig shaped salt and pepper shaker holder thingy over there?”

I guess because my favorite gifts have been just as weird, like the spoon and fork man the holds my salt and pepper shakers. ☺️

Urban explorers part two; at first sight

Jefferson Elementry

The explore in me kicked in when I was in 4th grade, the first time I actually remember seeing a truely abandoned building.

It broke my heart. My earliest memories are of moving from house to house, little ones seem to adapt okay, but it catches up eventually.

So when my parents bought their first home on Maple Grove Ave. in Blanchester Ohio, I could sense the security and safety that owning a home to raise children in offered.

I wasn’t even in kindergarten yet, according to my mom I learned to talk in that house- yet I don’t remember not being able to talk, I remember the 3 houses we lived in before that, and I remember them well.

Maple Grove Ave. was a long u shaped road that wrapped around a subdivision. I can’t say for a fact, but I imagine the houses being from the 40’s or 50’s maybe. It was the newest and only housing development in that town.

I honesty don’t remember any maple trees aside from the two huge ones in our back yard.

I did two years of kindergarten in Jefferson Elementry, taught by Mrs. Grosse, my dads kindergarten teacher. (He claims she was just as old back then as she was when I had her)

I went to that school until 3rd grade, looking back the whole thing is bizarre, like a time warp. It shouldn’t have even existed, yet I’m so thankful that it did.

Then the summer before 4th grade we moved. The first move that truely hurt me.

I remember my Grandma coming to help us pack, I remember sitting on the sofa with her and having this very special bonding moment where I French braided her long copper-red hair.

I must have done it a million times before- but that’s the only time it felt special, everyone knew back then that I loved playing with long hair, and I was good at it.

I remember later that day that my mom pushed my grandma out of her bedroom and locked the door. This was the first time I’d seen either one act like that.

I heard my mother crying after my Grandma stopped banging on the door and screaming. I remember talking to her through the door as the entire world melted away around us. I hated my Grandma so much for making mom cry. I hated her, but I loved my mom.

We moved away from that house to another crappy small town called Summerset Kentucky. My heart never healed.

In Summerset their was an old school building that looked like Jefferson. But this place had caught on fire, and failed to burn down.

It was never rebuilt or torn down, just left to rot. For whatever reason people stopped to let their kids play on the old playground.

We stopped often, it had a great swing set and merry go round. I’m sure I freaked people out by being the only child that wondered off…

The walls were charred and black, a lot of the windows were busted, but every desk, every chair was still in place. Black boards had writing on them, that beautiful cursive that only teachers can make.

I remember a math poster that had a clown on it hanging on the wall, like it’d been hung up that day.

I remember a newer looking portion in the back that housed busses. It was just like Jefferson, only burnt, dead, yet refusing to decay.

It broke my heart.

Urban Explores

Urban Explores are people who make a hobbie of exploring and documenting the decay of abandon structures.

The biggest misconception is that they are the people who throw rocks through window and spray paint graffiti on everything.

Thats not the case and there are a few generally excepted rules;

1. Take nothing but pictures.

2. Leave nothing but footprints.

3. Do not disclose locations. (As a precaution to having windows broken, items stolen, and whatever else someone might like to do in an abandon structure.)

I do have to say, from my observations, some people don’t understand the difference between abandoned, neglected, and in disrepair.

Some properties are not fully abandoned, meaning some have owners who still care, and would like to protect their old broken down buildings and whatever secrets they may contain.

Usually you can be tipped off by the minimal upkeep, meaning maybe the grass has been mowed at some point, maybe the windows are boarded up, and doors padlocked. This is not a place you should explore on impulse.

You do not need to break the law to be an urban explorer.

With some digging I can usually find an owner, it’s always been either an elderly person or a bank.

Banks, to be totally honest, have no idea what goes on with their properties, and I’m pretty sure they only care if theirs money to be made.

Sometimes properties are being fought over in court, sometimes they’ve been left to siblings that can not agree on what to do.

But in some cases the owner really is no where to be found, or truely unreachable, and there is a bit of mystery to that.

Feel stuck

I’ve been exhausted lately, I’m taking Brodi to see a new councilor today. (I’m sort of dreading it)

It’s frustrating, I’ve taught him some (what people might call abstract) ways of thinking and dealing with life, and he completely understands it and can apply it, but then I swear there are days he just does the complete opposite of what he knows.

Adam laughs because we have developed a vocabulary that no one understands. Sometimes I have to translate for Adam.

I’ve just been stopping and listening to the Delta Rae album I bought on  Vinyl at their concert. I swear their is something magical about vinyl.

Their are many other things I’d like to do but just can’t seem to make them happen. I’m sick of feeling stuck like that, like all I can do is daydream but never really experience anything different from day to day.

Delta Rae concert

I haven’t told you about my trip to see Delta Rae. For now I’ll just share my pictures.

Fountain Square, Cincinnati Ohio  August 11, 2017
The veiw of 5th street from Fountain Square 


I love these two girls so much.

The Fountain glows in slowly changing lights, so do the buildings.

They are my favorite band. They are also all good people on the inside. I’ve emailed back and forth with them a couple times, it’s cool how the digital can connect you to other people.

The girls are my favorite, I don’t know why, just are.

But I’ll leave it at that.



Decoding emotions part two

I have included the Emotional Guidance Scale that I adapted into a shorter and simpler version of Jerry and Esther Hicks scale. In my last post I explained how you can use this as a sort of street map of human emotions. It helps to understand the processes we have to go through in order to feel good.

We know that if we were just feeling completely depress (at the bottom of the scale) and we find ourselves feeling very angry, we are moving in the right direction.

Or observing someone close to you go from being kind of quiet and alone (but you haven’t thought of them as depressed) to angry at everything and everyone, you now know to let them get through their anger. Don’t talk them back down into depression. Offer them a distraction, or something to be hopeful for, or just stay out of their way.

They might move through disappointment, or overwhelment, but you’ll know they’re just doing what’s natural in order  to feel a little bit better, and a little bit better.

We make emotions black and white, good or bad, and that’s fairly true, this is emotional sub categories, and better doesn’t always mean good. Sometimes it’s just better than before. Moving in the right direction makes all the difference in the world, and that is good!


Emotional Guidance Scale

  1. Joy, Love, Appreciation
  2. Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
  3. Optimism, Hopefulness
  4. Contentment, Boredom
  5. Frustration, Overwhelment
  6. Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
  7. Blame, Anger, Revenge
  8. Hatred, Jealousy
  9. Insecurity, Guilt
  10. Fear, Grief, Depression


There is more to this, stick with me, I’ll get to the good stuff.

First, I’m going to share some things I have found that help me move up the scale:

  1. A distraction; I think this is best when somethings really stuck in my mind and I can’t move away from it. (We’ll get to why that happens later on) I use two different types of distractions, my exact distractions may or may not work for you, but you will find what does.

Distraction # 1; This consumes all my focus so that I have to concentrate on that one thing in the moment.

Reading a book is my first choice, that’s not always possible, sometimes I learn to play a song or musical instrument. If I’m lucky an interesting documentary can be found. These things consume all of my focus, and I enjoy them.


Distraction #2; The mindless distractions; something so simple you’d typically find it mundane, like washing and drying all the dishes or cleaning all the grout lines between your bathroom tiles. I sort of take my “aggression” out that way.

Coloring helps me, I don’t care about the end result or if I finish, I’ll just color until I’m sick of it, when I stop and look up I’m in a whole new mindset.

You could take a nap, or meditate. Lose yourself in music if you’re a musical person, I’ve done that one just by default since I was a kid.

Any project that’s already started I can perfect.

Better yet, an animal person can get lost in cuteness. I brush my pig, he climbs into my lap and sleeps, at that point all is well in my world. I’ll pet a cat until its purring; hold my iguana until he’s so asleep that he’s a limp noodle.


  1. Make a list of positive aspects;

This way you can choose to stay stuck on that subject or move away from it. Either way you’re good. I have a whole journal dedicated to positive aspects, and I prefer to start with those things that are on my mind. I care deeply and desperately want to change my negative feelings into positive ones.

I’ll put the subject at the top and underline it, and then I number 1-10. Once I’ve listed 6 or 7 positive aspects I almost can’t stop. It’s just getting started that’s a little bit of a challenge, and then you find yourself listing things like #34- beautiful and captivating eyes.

Do this instead of pros and cons list, do this for the person you love the most, and the person you hate the most, for the car you have, for the car you want. No matter what, only list the positive aspects, any subject is game. Mine is usually people, but that’s me, you may be different.

  1. Focus wheel.

I focus on the thing and how I want to feel about it.


In the center of a piece of paper write a statement that is a complete truth; but make it a positive statement.

Example; “we connect in a gaze across a crowded room to find each other” not “I want him so bad but he never even notices me, except that one time at the water fountain…”


I mark lines around my circle like it’s a clock. You can do more or less. In each “hour” of my clock I write a statement that supports a good feeling similar to the one in the middle.


But that’s enough for tonight. I do hope this reaches people. Feel free to contact me.




Decoding emotions

I use this to figure out where I might find myself next and where others are. Understanding where others are helps you see through their more negative aspects and into better qualities that you will see when they reach the higher emotions on the scale.

The higher on the scale a person is the more complete that person is. The lower emotions show how disconnected they are from who they really are.


Emotional Guidance Scale

  1. Joy, Love, Appreciation
  2. Passion, Enthusiasm, Happiness
  3. Optimism, Hopefulness
  4. Contentment, Boredom
  5. Frustration, Overwhelment
  6. Disappointment, Doubt, Worry
  7. Blame, Anger, Revenge
  8. Hatred, Jealousy
  9. Insecurity, Guilt
  10. Fear, Grief, Depression


I’ve adapted this list to from 22 emotions into 10 using the Emotional Guidance Scale from Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks (a book I’ve relied on since 11th grade) I’ve seen different scales like this so think of it more as an outline.


You can’t jump from the bottom straight to the top, but if you pay attention you can catch yourself and find a way to feel better before you even get to the bottom. Don’t worry if you do catch yourself somewhere on the lower part of the scale, you can climb back up, and it gets easier with practice.


If I’m at number 10, my goal is to get to number 7. I try not to talk or make decisions during those times because they will mostly be bad decisions.


Once I’m at 7 I reach for number 3.  Once you make it that far 1 and 2 will just naturally come along.


There are more uses for the scale, but for now I’m tagging this blog in hopes it will make it to whoever might need some help feeling better. I do plan on relating other (more interesting) topics once I figure out how to put it all into words.